is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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