woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im having a threesome with these popsicles
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
