The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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