btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
only you would photoshop your dick
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I supernannyed him into submission
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
