I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Damn victory sex feels great
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
