wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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