Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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