found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
