Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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