So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
