There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
