Sry I called you an 8
I seem to have left my pride at pride
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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