Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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