I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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