so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
