Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
