u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
