Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
