marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
