My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
