walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
