Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
