You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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