somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
