i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
