i already hear my dad disowning me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
