Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
