I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
