It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
