Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
