You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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