Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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