The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
