so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
