I want you more than these girls want KFC
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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