Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The air was thick with penises
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
