apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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