I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
