I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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