isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
