Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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