i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
