id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
