Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
