Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
you never un-have a 4some
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
