I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
