Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
