Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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