I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
