we made out on top of his cat.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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